The first two weeks have gone by and it seemed so calm, but I feel like I have not been keeping up as diligently as my fellow classmates. I often feel guilt and I potentially have imposter syndrome since I think I’m not quite good enough for medical school. There were lectures a plenty and it’s not like I don’t understand them. Actually, they are mostly review. I just feel like there is a lot to review and I feel like this has been reiterated by so many people. I guess I knew what was coming but didn’t quite comprehend the volume until it actually happened. Now the stress has become greater due to the impending exams in the next 2 days. I knew that this school was notorious for the copious exams and I chose it to motivate me to keep chugging along, it does it’s job but nonetheless it is always going to build stress.
The day to day consists of going to class, writing notes, going home, reviewing notes, maybe working out a little and then sleep. Occasionally, I will get up and make myself something to eat. I am quite bad at planning the time to eat so I often eat at around 10 PM or so. It’s kind of a struggle to maintain my usual healthier habits because all I can think about is how to keep up.
In the past, I have felt a little overconfident because people always tell me everything will be ok and that I will achieve success. As a millennial, I supposed this was the obligatory “participation” praise that I was “entitled” to. Sometimes I felt like I couldn’t meet these expectations and other times I put harder expectations on myself that ultimately led to my own disappointment. My initial attempt at applying to medical school was like that. I had no idea what I was doing and it was obvious. I got no interviews and felt quite ashamed. My reapplication wasn’t that successful either because I didn’t change that much about myself. It was the 3rd attempt and my discovery of osteopathic medicine that allowed me to finally secure this position. It’s not that my scores are low, but the tenets of osteopathy really spoke to me. Not only that, but my current class had an average MCAT of 508 and an average GPA of 3.6 or so. That’s really comparable to MD schools, and in fact those averages are higher than my state MD schools.
In any case, I wrote this mostly to encourage everyone to be persistent and achieve by setting reasonable expectations for YOURSELF. I feel like I have finally embraced this idea and I’m happier for it. I still have a neverending cycle of stress, but it is manageable. Specifically, I like to practice mindfulness and BREATHE with awareness. Just 2 minutes a day really helps change my mindset. I feel more focused and I ground myself into thinking I am capable and competent. One of my classmates even said that we all deserve to be where we are since we got here in the first place. This was really encouraging to me and I want to encourage everyone else as well. For anyone reading, I believe in you. If you’ve stumbled upon this page looking for advice on medical school or even just a meal plan recipe for weight loss, you’re already trying to achieve something and I believe you are halfway there.
Good luck everyone! I know secondaries are hard to write just keep chugging and I know studying is difficult. Just believe in yourself as much as I believe in you!
Hope you enjoyed reading and that you got something out of it!