I walk into a room and there is a crowd of people. Somehow there is an air of familiarity. I didn’t think I would know anyone but then across the room I see you. You are a remnant of my past and I am not sure if I feel embarassed or happy.
I used to like you… it was a silly school girl crush and you weren’t even very nice to me. I might have put you on a pedestal because you were so popular and intelligent. Now I am an adult, I know I am a desirable person. I have value and I am beautiful, but for some reason in your presence I feel smaller. That feeling of intimidation I get around you makes me shrink back to the girl I was; so unsure of myself, so naive. You used to ignore my presence.
Here we are 10 feet away from each other, in a crowded room of young professionals. Yellow string lights strewn across the dimly lit room. You’re standing in front of the dessert table with the characteristic white table cloth in front of the silver tiered platter of leftover Christmas cookies; wearing a standard slim fitting pale blue dress shirt with the sleeves rolled slightly, tucked into black slacks with a brown belt and silver buckles. You still haven’t outgrown your thin frame.
I can now command the room. My black velvet form fitting dress shows off my curves. My black leather stilettos make me stand much taller. I can overcome anything. I have been through more and gained the confidence. My courage takes over and I walk up to the table and grab a drink.
“Fancy seeing you here” I utter with my infectious smile.
You turn around.